the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
