So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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