...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
