Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We are all done wearing pants today
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
