Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
