I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the condom got lost in my hair
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I smell like Dick and happiness
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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