Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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