Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
