You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
