Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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