i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
another moral hangover. fuck.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
