the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
