Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
