i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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