Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
how drunk are you?
Several
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
