Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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