the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
