The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
