I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I want to walk on stilts...naked
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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