his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
