fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
