Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
