u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
