After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
