Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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