why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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