just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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