brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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