no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
