Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
