if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
