Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
