I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
