Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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