If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
