found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
