Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
