ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
