He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
