And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
