I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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