: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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