In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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