what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
