An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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