Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
