I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
should my penis look like a turkey
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
