your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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