The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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