Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
