i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
