Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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